This is the very first ritual, and one of the oldest rituals, of a Tamil wedding. It is basically an announcement that a wedding will be taking place. A tall wooden bamboo stick with 7 knots is smeared with tumeric and vermillon by nine married ladies.  This Bamboo pillar is propped outside for the four legged “pandaal.” 7 brass pots are also set in the pandal which signifies 7 vows of marriage . Banana shoots covered with decorations are raised and tied to either side of the door or gate. A large kolam (rangoli) is drawn at the entrance. The elderly people of the family bless the bride and groom and everyone seeks the blessings from the Gods for a hassle free wedding.

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January 27, 2017

This is an age old tradition, where the bride’s parents welcome the groom’s side at the boundary of the village and invite them into the marriage venue (usually a temple, back in the day). In today's times, the groom’s family is welcomed by the bride’s family at the wedding hall. Each member of the groom's party is garlanded by the bride's family and auspicious music, played usually by Nadhaswaram and Tavil artists, accompany in galore. 

As the rituals begin, breakfast will be served. Please feel free to help yourselves at the dining area!

The following prayers (poojais) are done to invoke auspicious blessings from the Gods:

Ganapati Pooja: It’s imperative to ask for Lord Ganapati’s (the elephant faced God) blessing’s at any event in one’s life, as his blessings remove every impediment and obstacle.
 

Nandi Devata Pooja: The presiding deities (Nandi Devatas) are invoked with this pooja in which a leaf-laden branch of the peepul tree is brought in and ablutions with milk are performed by five married women (Sumangalis). 
 

Navagraha Pooja: Prayers are offered to the nine ruling planets, which are believed to govern our destinies.
 

​Vratham: It is a fast taken by the bride and groom (and their families), separately. For the bride, the vratham is signified by the tying of a sacred thread or kaapu which will protect her from evil spirits. For the groom, however, taking a fast signifies his transition from one stage of life, that of a bachelor (Brahmachaari), to the next: householder (Grihastan).

Paalikai: On this day, a clay pot is filled with nine varieties of grains. The married women (sumangalis) of the family pour water in the pot and allow the grains to sprout for the day. The pot is considered as houses, grains as the bride and groom, and the sprouts indicate the prosperity of the family. After a day or two the pot is immersed into the pond, where fishes can eat the grains.
 

Kankana Dharanam: The bride ties a yellow thread, fastened to a piece of dry turmeric, around the groom’s wrist. This binds them in a religious vow. This ritual allows the groom the right to touch his bride. A little later, the groom does the same.
 

A bhajan (songs) concert by Sri Narasimha Bhagavathar and Party, will be performed. Lunch will be served in the dining area. 

This event will take place post lunch, in the evening. This is similar to an engagement ceremony. During this ceremony, a formal marriage proposal is confirmed after a small prayer. A Lagna Patrikai, a contract by both families detailing the lineage of the bride and the groom, the astrological details of their birth and wedding dates, will be read out loud confirming the auspicious alliance.

In this ritual, the groom’s family gifts the bride with everything she requires such as sarees, flowers, makeup essentials, etc. It is a welcoming gesture from the groom’s house to the bride. Likewise, new clothes and other gifts from the bride's house will also be given to the groom. 

Jaanavasam is a cultural aspect of an Indian wedding, where the groom is paraded down the village. This was originally done to show off the groom to those in the village, and make sure everyone knew of the alliance. This was also done to make sure that no one had any objections, lest the groom be of unfavorable character. 

Now a days, a Jaanavasam is celebrated grandly with people dancing in front of the vehicle, which could range from horseback, a car, or even a chariot. The procession starts at a temple and moves slowly back to the marriage hall where the bride is waiting to garland her groom. 

In accordance with dinner, we will be having a DJ party. So, don't stop your moves at the Jaanavasam! Prepare to dance to some peppy numbers and some popular kuthu songs! 

Don't forget to grab a bite amidst all the dancing! 

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January 28, 2018

Start the wedding day off right, with a cup of hot coffee or tea and some scrumptious breakfast

On the morning of the wedding day, the bride and the groom take a holy bath and get ready for the day. This particular function is played out like a drama. The tradition says that the groom has to pretend like he is leaving to Kasi (Benares), on a holy pilgrimage. He is leaving to become a celibate monk. However, the bride's father, intercepts the groom and stops him from going with a convincing explanation about how awesome the bride is (yes, in this case, this is very true) and a few other lines about how life is for a married man. 

The now convinced groom, agrees to go back into the marriage hall and get hitched! 

This custom is also quite a fun one! Now that the bride and the groom have agreed to get married, a small tussle with both parties happens. The bride is propped up on her uncles' shoulders, while the groom is propped up on his uncles' shoulders. Both the bride and the groom try to garland each other first while dodging the other's attempts. This happens three times before both the bride and the groom are brought down from thier poor uncles' shoulders, and they actually accept each other's garland. 

Now that the bride and groom have had their work out, they get some time to rest. In this tradition, the bride and the groom are asked to sit on a beautifully wooden plank swing ('oonjal' literally means 'swing'). Young children are encouraged to sit along with them.

Ladies of the house sing traditional folk songs and celebrate the holiness of the marriage along with the following procedures:

Mangala Arathi: A solution made of lime and tumeric powder, on a plate, is circled around the bride and groom a number of times by family elders to ward off the evil eye. This ritual is repeated a number of times at various junctures of the wedding ceremony. 

Drishti: Little globes of colored rice (laddoos) are circled around the couple and thrown in the direction of the cardinal points, to ensure that evil spirits leave them be.

Vara Pooja: The groom is honored in this ceremony. His feet are washed in milk and wiped with a silk cloth. A circle of purity is made around the couple with pure water and oil lamps to ward off demon spirits.

In this ritual, both bride and groom go into the wedding hall. This is the first time both of them enter the marriage hall together. 

This is first official ritual to signify a woman leaving her birth family. The bride sits on her father’s lap, and is given away. On the girl’s head, a ring is made of sacred grass (dharba), and over this ring a yoke is placed. The gold thaali (mangal sutra) is placed on the yoke and water is poured.

After this, the bride retires to her chamber where she will be helped by her sister-in-law-to-be into the koora podavai, the ceremonial saree worn for this occasion. The 9 yards saree is an auspicious shade of maroon. A belt made of reed grass is tied around the bride’s waist. After the recital of sacred hymns, the bride is ready to be given over to her husband. The groom offers an assurance to the bride’s father that she will be his companion in joy and sorrow, in this life and forever after.

The bride changes into the 9 yard Madisaar. Once she is back, the official wedding ceremony commences. 

The tying of the sacred thread (thaali/mangal sutra) is timed down to the last auspicious second. The bride is seated on her father's lap facing east, while the groom faces west. He ties the thaali around the bride’s neck – one knot by him and the remaining two by his sister. As this happens, the music escalates, and flower petals are thrown on the couple. 

As the rituals continue, a group of brahmins  from a padasalai  will be reciting Vedas. The Vedic scriptures are the spiritual literature of the ancient Indian culture, written in the Sanskrit language. All of these teachings are supposed to encourage a human being to understand that he is not an independent entity, rather he is a part of a universal body, depending on many higher forces. 

With 'Paani Grahanam', where the bride's hand will be enclosed within the groom's, along with the shawl (angavastram) of the groom and the saree (pallu) of the bride which will be knotted together, the newly weds will take seven steps for the seven sacred vows. As per Hindu law, a marriage is incomplete without these seven vows. These laws combine a mix of promises of love, chastity, friendship, and family. A detailed description follows:  

 

First Vow: 
The Groom: “om esha ekapadi bhava iti prathaman”: ‘You will offer me food and be helpful in every way. I will cherish you and provide welfare and happiness for you and our children’.
The Bride:“dhanam dhanyam pade vadet”: I am responsible for the home and all household, food and financial responsibilities. 
 

Second Vow:
The Groom: “om oorje jara dastayaha”: Together we will protect our house and children. 
The Bride: “kutumburn rakshayishyammi sa aravindharam”:  I will be by your side as your courage and strength. I will rejoice in your happiness. In return, you will love me solely.

Third Vow:
The Groom: “om rayas santu joradastayaha”: May we grow wealthy and prosperous and strive for the education of our children and may our children live long.
The Bride: “tava bhakti as vadedvachacha”: I will love you solely for the rest of my life, as you are my husband. Every other man in my life will be secondary. I vow to remain chaste.
 

Fourth Vow
The Groom: “om mayo bhavyas jaradastaya ha”: You have brought sacredness into my life, and have completed me. May we be blessed with noble and obedient children
The Bride: “lalayami cha pade vadet”: I will shower you with joy, from head to toe. I will strive to please you in every way I can.
 

Fifth Vow,

The Groom: “om prajabhyaha santu jaradastayaha”: You are my best friend, and staunchest well-wisher. You have come into my life, enriching it. God bless you.

The Bride: “arte arba sapade vadet”: I promise to love and cherish you for as long as I live. Your happiness is my happiness, and your sorrow is my sorrow. I will trust and honor you, and will strive to fulfill all your wishes.
 

Sixth Vow
The Groom: “Rutubhyah shat padi bhava”: Now that you have taken six steps with me, you have filled my heart with immense happiness. Will you do the kindness of filling my heart with happiness like this for all time?
The Bride: “yajna hom shashthe vacho vadet”: I will always be by your side.

Seventh Vow
The Groom: “Om sakhi jaradastayahga”: We are now husband and wife, and are one. You are mine and I am yours for eternity.
The Bride: “Attramshe sakshino vadet pade”: As God is witness, I am now your wife. We will love, honor and cherish each other forever.

Holding the bride’s left toe, the groom helps her tread on a grindstone, signifying that her mind be as firm as the rock she has stepped on whenever trouble comes her way. It is at this time that a metti is placed.

Metti is a silver toe ring is worn by women in India as an indicator / symbol of their married status.
It is believed that wearing Metti on the second toe exerts pressure on certain nerves in the body that relate to good health and the reproductive system. In India we firmly believe in the importance of nerve endings in our toes and it is referred to as 'prana' or life force. In other words it also refers to the concept of acupressure points in the toes. 

Stargazing: The groom directs the bride towards the star Arundhati – named thus after the wife of the sage Vashishta, regarded as the epitome of chastity – and Dhruva, the pole star known for single-minded devotion.

Pradhana Homam: An homage to the all-powerful element, Agni (fire god), this homam is performed as the couple circle the fire, offering grain, nine types of twigs, and ghee (clarified butter) as sacrificial fuel. It is said that the fumes from this pyre cleanse the bodies of the bride and groom. Agni is, by this ritual, deemed to be a witness to the wedding.

Laja Homam: The bride’s brother slings a bagful of puffed rice or ‘laja’ over his shoulder and keeps giving fistfuls of it to his sister to offer as a sacrifice to the sacred fire. After this ritual the couple circulate and are blessed by all present.

If the grooms’ family lives in the same town, the bride is taken to her new home and made to sit on a ‘manai’ (low wooden plank) and fed milk and bananas. Her in-laws also present her with a sari and she is asked to light the ‘kuthuvilakku’ (sacred lamp in the prayer room).

If the groom’s family does not live in the same town, this ceremony is performed at the wedding hall after completion of all the marriage rites.

As the wedding ends, express your joy for the new couple by joining them for a yummy lunch! You might even catch them posing for pics by feeding each other sweets! 

Post Lunch, the bride and the groom get an opportunity to play a few games depicting daily life chores. Now a days, this is done with a competitive element where each side tries to symbolically prove their smartness and superiority. The bride and groom sit across from each other and their respective families sing songs and edge them on. Some games include, trying to pull a coconut towards themselves, trying to grab a ring from inside a pot first, combing each other's hair, etc. This is a time to relax, have fun and rejoice.

After a long day of fun, its time to just relax and enjoy some good food!

Post Dinner, there will be time to socialize, take a few pictures with the newly weds and watch some interesting family performances! 

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January 29, 2018

In the olden days, where transportation had not flourished, the groom and his family had to travel for days to take the bride back to their hometown. The bride's family sent them off with an elaborate feast and also packed food for them to be eaten on the way. Thus came in the practice of 'Kattu Sadam" which literally means "packed food". In modern times, there is absolutely no need for food to be carried along no matter how far you have to travel. But Tamil Brahmins still retain this practice as a part of their wedding celebration thus showing their respect to ancestral rituals. 

A brunch is served after the rituals, and packed food is given to the grooms family. The bride bids her farewells and thus ends this grand ceremony of holy matrimony! 
 

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